After what I call the "Hazing Ritual" of becoming parents for the first time to a "spirited" little boy, I was prepared for anything. I realize now that I was a combination of excitedly bold as I prepared for another labour and newborn transition and part ducking for cover. I was ready for the onslaught of a difficult postpartum recovery, tricky breastfeeding and painful sleep-deprivation.

It's now 12 weeks later and I am careful to say out loud, lest it be snatched away - I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel so blessed to be able to report that I have firsthand experience of what I have only heard from other Moms to be possible. An easy, seamless labour which I credit mostly to my amazing midwife and doula. A postpartum recovery that was fast and almost entirely without discomfort - which I credit to a combination of going au natural, my amazing husband, friends and family - but mostly to my amazing "Angel Baby" who came into this world knowing just what to do. He came quitely, confidently and ready to eat...He breastfed immediately, voraciously and frequently and he hasn't stopped.

While we are a little tired from still waking once or twice in the night, there are no aches and pains from desparate sleep-deprivation, no nervous-system overload from endless bouts of crying and I have energy for moments of utter "post-partum euphoria".

While I know that a small part of this experience is due to being more relaxed and experienced as a parent, I believe strongly that babies come with their own agenda and personality too and its our job to work with that. Big brother is still spirited, full of life and adventure as he adjusts to his larger family. He challenges us, makes sure we stay present and keeps us laughing.

I have learned so much from both my boys and I know I will continue to be amazed at each new experience...we really feel like a complete family now and I face the coming years with a sense of anticipation and wonder. I am so grateful for the blessings that are my children...

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This blog is a more lighthearted anecdote about how what used to be a life of reasonable predictability and order, has become one of responding to whatever comes my way in the moment (literally and figuratively) since I became a mother.

When we decided to start our son in daycare at the age of 2, I wanted him to be part of an environment that was cooperative and that would include parents in the conversation of what care ought to look like. We have been lucky and found one that is a nice balance between a homey, child-centred philosophy and one that provides structure and lots of social guidance.

Admittedly, I had a lot of angst and guilt about handing him over to outside influences. Though I knew intuitively he was craving more socializing and a wider variety of experiences, I still had difficulty shaking the idea that somehow I was neglecting my motherly duty of knowing what he was up to every minute of every day. (Depending on where you sit on the spectrum of belief on this one, you likely have your own judgements about it) Since a large part of my mission is to encourage parents to get past comparing and judging and to honour their own situation and child's needs, I thought I'd better take my own advice, and follow my heart. I knew he was ready for daycare so it was just a matter of managing my feelings about it.

I compromised between my sense of being overprotective on one end of the spectrum and potentially (irrationally I might add) neglectful on the other, to rest on what I deemed to be a comfortable...conscientious and involved. I joined the daycare's Board of Directors after a rousing speech about affecting a difference in the lives of our children at an AGM. This way, as a parent, I could be more a part of the process of ongoing improvement. Nevermind, it made the transition easier for me as it fed my own sense of safety and alleviated some guilt.

To get to the funny anecdote part, this Board involvement has been a very rewarding experience, though at times a challenging one, to squeeze into busy schedules...Both my husband and I are involved in a lot of community and work-related activities, so last week, when we had an extra meeting and I had no husband or babysitter around; my solution was to invite the Board to my house.

I was so prepared...I had tidied, set up the table where we would meet, prepped Aidan for who was coming over, managed the Board members' expectations that I would have to slip out briefly for bedtime, had fed, bathed and pajamaed my little man and we were ready to go. I felt accomplished...like I had achieved a certain level of mastery over this juggling act of being a good Mommy and a woman who reamined committed to outside involvements that were important to me.

So as Board Members began to arrive, Aidan and I greeted them at the door together and he took part in the start of the meeting by sitting quietly on my lap (a miracle?) No...of-course it had to do with my parenting skills, having raised such a cooperative little guy...And just as I finished silently congratulating myself in my mind and looking at the clock to consider how far off we were from bedtime, it happened. A whiney voice escaped my son's subdued lips and he said he wanted to go to bed...very unusual. I was aware that this was either another small miracle or something was very wrong. For a fleeting moment, I had the sense that my perfectly timed evening; my illusion of having achieved order over life with a 2 year-old was about to vanish.

I picked Aidan up and began to carry him towards the stairs to bed...I had only taken a few steps away from the table where the meeting was taking place when a funny cough escaped his lips and just as I looked at him to check what was wrong, he let go of his dinner all over me...on my shoulder, in my hair, on my feet and sandals and of-course, all over his clean self and pajamas. In an instant, the bathing and prepping was all for naught. While I knew he had been quieter all day, this was my first real indication that he may be getting sick. Right back into Mommy guilt again...sheesh.

Needless to say, I missed much of the rest of the meeting because my priority was cleaning and soothing us both. All that trying to get on top of the evening, with my typical type A fervour, was eliminated by my focus on soothing an upset tummy and feelings. In that moment, gross as it was, and it was gross...all that seemed strangely irrelevant. Aah, the glamour of motherhood...and yet, I still wouldn't trade it for anything.

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Welcome to my blog!

I set up this blog as a way of staying connected with all the amazing, wise and inquisitive parents in the Nesting Network. The added bonus, is that I get to do a little refelecting on my own experiences as a Mom, a wife, a friend, coach, educator and entrepreneur. I invite you to come back and view updates, and to comment whenever you have something to share or you have ideas that might help us all!

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There are many of you out there who have already started your own businesses or have at least thought about it...That glorious idea of being your own boss, of integrating home and work life, calling your own shots, drawing your own time boundaries, and expressing more of your gifts in the world.

All these ideas were and still are, the most delicious to me as well. What I have discovered however, is that keeping the momentum going in start-up mode, staying on top of communications, as well as answering my 2 1/2 year-old's ever-increasing need to ask "why", to push back on every suggestion that he "use his big-boy voice" aka "please stop yelling!", that he eat, settle down to have a nap etc. creates an everyday exercise in discipline, organization, patience and if all else fails; giving up until after bedtime and e-mailing until well after the sun goes down.

I don't remember my boss ever being as demanding, or her standards being quite so high, or her deadlines being quite so unrealistic...so today, I decided to fire myself as my own boss and to call in some friends for ongoing perspective.

I started a Mompreneur's group several months ago, because I had the sense that I would need ongoing input from other women who were experiencing similar issues. We get together on a monthly basis to chat about our businesses, our successes, frustrations and balancing multiple demands. The underlying principle is that no one can be successful alone and that we all need a community of trusted friends and advisors...

So today, I am working with the notion that I need help with knowing when I am doing too much (I prove again and again that my own internal meter in this area could use some adjusting). So I am empowering people around me to get on my case if I keep putting myself last on the list...there is no question that scraped knees and scary dreams will forever more come before any personal discomfort or sleep deprivation considerations, but somewhere on my list of to-dos, I need to remember that being my own boss is only worth it if I am being nicer to myself than another boss would be...so with that, I am off for a long walk with my pooch, going to have a nice lunch and then I'll get back to it...with any luck and maybe a call into a friend for additional perspective, I'll get into my afternoon with a reasonable expectation for what I can complete, always remembering that in supporting other families, I enrich my relationship with my family...

So the next time my son asks says "But Why Mommy?!" I can say, "Because Mommy is done her work, feels proud of herself for accomplishing what she set out to do, and even more excited to be spending time with you! Let's go outside and play!" A great lesson in having clear priorities and boundaries for us both!!

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